This is a really big deal.

I'm a type-A "get 'er done" work-a-holic crazy-organized packing-ninja travel-nazi over-achieving kind of gal.

*my family actually calls me the travel nazi.  no joke.  it's out of love, right?

So since I honestly believe I can take on the world and do everything, sometimes I think being at an extremely high risk for cancer and having a double mastectomy isn't a big deal.

DON'T BELIEVE ME.  THIS IS A REALLY BIG DEAL.

Sometimes, I need to be reminded of that.  No, I cannot take on one more thing.  Nope, I can't help you with whatever-piddly-thing-you-think-is-so-important-but-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things-it's-not-even-worth-my-attention.  A wonderful business colleague said to me recently, "honey, stop trying to be superwoman".  Thank you.  I needed to hear that.

But then again, sometimes when people say to me, "whoa, that's a really big deal" I can't handle it.  Because they usually make the face.  You know, the face.  With the wide eyes and the down-turned mouth and the slightly raised eyebrows.   And the face is so full of confusion and pity and sadness and wow-I'm-glad-I'm-not-her-ness that it's honestly too much to handle.  And then I feel like I have to console that person, and do the whole, "oh no, it's fine, really, I'm okay" just to make them feel better.  Because even though I'm sassy, I'm still polite.  How whacked is that? 

So I guess I don't really need you to tell me that it's a big deal.  Because we all know that already.  Just don't forget it's a big deal, and when you're talking with me, keep that in the back of your mind.  It can be an unspoken thing, while we try to fill the space with talk about other stuff.  But you know, and I know, that it's there, and it's a really big deal.